Grave Encounters (2011)

Grave Encounters is another lost/found footage horror movie. With this, Troll Hunter and the forthcoming Paranormal Activity 3, we feel we’re getting to the point where no one is going to give an 8mm about vampires and zombies anymore, unless they’re being filmed slightly out of focus on grainy video.

Grave Encounters’ USP is that its actually the lost episode of a paranormal investigation show akin to Ghost Adventures or Most Haunted. as per the nature of these shows, the TV crew spend the night in an abandoned, possibly haunted psychiatric ward in the pursuit of things that go bump in the night. Well, obviously there’s no possibly about it. The place is haunted and, after discovering that the hospital is alive (that’s right), they spend a literal endless night trying to get out. As well controlling its own corridors and exits, the hospital also appears to also determine the natural order of things, such as daylight and nighttime. Aside from finger pointing at black magic shenanigans, quite why all this is happening is never explained satisfactorily. Though that’s the least of the film’s problems.

Grave Encounters is about as subtle as being kicked in the face by a hobnailed boot for eternity whilst being made to watch YouTube videos; mistaking blood and gore for suspense and tension. Whilst it has some original ideas, these are clouded by the unoriginality surrounding them. THe film’s joint directors, The Vicious Brothers, seemingly think or hope that no one is going to notice that the plot is more or less a retread of 1999’s House on Haunted Hill.

With people drowning in baths of blood, eating live rats and screaming harder than a Justin Bieber fan, it’s hard to take this movie even close to serious. It’s like an 11 year old Goth was asked to write a horror movie.

Yeah, and then he falls down the stairs and there’s a ghost that bites its own tongue off and then the girl screams cause she is well scared.

This is the kind of film that causes flowers to wilt and hate crimes. Like 8213 Gacy House, this is definitely a film best left to the terminally blind and deaf.

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