Trifecta of Horror: Psych 9 (2012), Storage 24 (2012), Orca: The Killer Whale (1977)

Psych 9

Sara Foster plays Roslyn; an admin assistant working the night shift packing up the medical files of a recently closed hospital. Seemingly not the complete deck of cards when we first meet her, Rosalyn begins to suspect her abusive husband maybe a serial killer who prays on people on the hospital grounds. Psych 9 tries to be half a dozen things at once – A slasher movie, a meaningful psychological drama, a TV movie on domestic abuse… It fails on all accounts. Barely sustaining a plot, let alone any real scares, the denouement is as welcome as trapped wind from a corpse, suffering as it does from an attitude of let’s throw lots of shit at the wall and see what sticks.

Storage 24

Noel Clarke gave us the rather good Kidulthood and Adulthood. He changes tact in this straight to DVD schlocker, which he co-write, about a group of people trapped in a storage centre with a flesh eating alien. Billed as a comedy horror, it is neither. The only real scares coming from the film’s faint smell of misogyny that starts with a needlessly long shot of a Nuts centre spread and continues with its only two main female characters being nothing more than screaming harpies that need to stay close to Clarke’s frowny face.

Orca: The Killer Whale

In this Jaws rip off from Dino de Laurentiis, Orca is the heartwarming tale of a killer whale going on a bloodthirsty rampage in retribution for Richard Harris killing his mate and offspring. Preceding Jaws: The Revenge and its google map using shark by several years, Orca manages to track down Harris and lead him on a merry chase to the frozen northern waters for a smackdown to end all smackdowns. Opportunistic it may have been, but by Christ it’s a lot of fun. If it’s not Orca’s eidetic memory, it’s his ability to understand how he can use the fuel lines to his advantage. Go, Orca, go!


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