Trifecta of Horror: Dorian Gray (2009), Birdemic (2012), Burke and Hare (2010)

Dorian Gray (2009)

So, how do you turn a novella, that is mostly exposition and suggestion, into a ‘summer’ movie? Well, if you’re Director Oliver Parker, you add a load of breasts, some wooden acting, and finish it off in the 1910s just so you can have a car chase… Any subtlety of the first hour is lost in a sea of floating CGI bollocks in the final act. You’re left wondering what the point of it all is? that said, it’s not as bad as that abomination, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Birdemic (2012)

It wants to be The Birds. It really does. It dresses up as The Birds when no one is home and acts out scenes; throwing it’s cape and wings in to the closet when it hears its parents coming in. Every day it falls asleep crying. Large, painful, soul destroying sobs lamenting the fact it will never be The Birds… Or even a good film.

Burke and Hare (2010)

Half the cast of Spaced get together with the director of An American Werewolf in London, John Landis, and bring us this black comedy version of the story of two men, who were not only cold blooded killers but also, helped move modern science forward. This is by no means the best film in the world, but nor is it horrific. Everyone seems to be having fun with it and, to be honest, the scenery and stage costume is sumptuous. However, with an uneven tone, and constant misses and humour and scares, Burke and Hare just digs its own grave.

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